zaterdag 23 juni 2007
Paris - It's only two letters away from penis
I went to Paris over the weekend. It was an interesting city, but man it's overrun with tourists. I can't imagine anyone actually wanting to live there.So, I saw the common things.Eiffel Tower - the size of it sneaks up on you.Arch du Triomph (my spelling of French sucks, os Im porabbly rong heer) - smaller than I thought, but has a funny guy with a war helm on, carrying a spear, but naked from the waist down.Notre Dame - cathedrals are rad.Boat tour on the river Seine - got my stupid ass sunburned.Paris subway system - huge and great and the trains have tires.French food - decent, for what I had.Real French Croissant - buttery.Um, I think that's just about everything. Nice place to visit, never'd want to live there. I'd go back at some point to see some museums, though.Oh yeah. I also kept getting this strange feeling that it would be really easy to understand French if the people would just enunciate.
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Hey man that souds cool as all hell. But after you report I am still left wanting.I have a few questions: did you notice any French Hookers? Second, were the chicks there hot? I read that 1 in 3 Parisians owns a dog and the city produces 16 tons of dog shit a year or something. Does the city smell vaguely of dog shit?Also what manner of French food did you have? Snails? Also did you see any mimes? And do the French always ask you if you want you rwater sparkling or flat? Did you ever pretend to be german or Canadian to see if they treated you differently than if you were openly American?
Naw, I didn't see any French hookers. I didn't go to the right part of town for that.Lots of good looking gals, but I don't know how many were actually French, because as I said the place was rife with tourists.There was indeed quite a bit of dog shit on the streets. The people just let the dog shit and then leave it there so you have to pay attention when you're walking, unless it's in a busy area where someone else has already stepped in it and carried it off somewhere else.I had normal food. Some sort of steak with something on it. I don't eat meat rare anymore, though, so I probably lost some of the effect.No mimes. I was disappointed.The sparkling/flat water issue isn't limited to Paris, though it never came up when I was there. They drink the sparkling stuff in Germany too, so I've gotten kind of used to drinking it, or asking for 'stilles Wasser' on the airplanes. They don't normally serve flat water at restaurants unless it just comes from the tap, and then they look at you funny if you ask for it.I didn't try and be stealthy. I probably should have, but I don't do a good German accent and I have no idea how to pretend to be Canadian, since the accent isn't that different.
After this coming weekend, you will no longer have the burning sensation while you urinate.Also, after this weekend you will no longer have to send me a damn email, you bastard.
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